About places I’m going today.
Boy, can it be expensive to be transgender. The medications can be costly (I’m lucky with medications and the insurance I’m part of), the doctors can be expensive (again, lucky on the insurance), and there are a lot of things to worry about. But one of the more depressing things is clothing and shoes.
Let me talk about it some more.
I’m a little late on the Trans Day of Visibility, since it was March 31, and it’s now a week later. But I just recently got some very awesome information to show.
I am a proud scion of the state of New Jersey, and on the Transgender Day of Visibility, the governor of the state, the inestimable Phillip Murphy, declared it in an executive order as a sanctuary state. This means that if you prescribe trans health care, then move to NJ, or you’ve moved to NJ from a transgender-hostile state that bans trans health care, they won’t lift a finger to help you get extradited.
In addition, about the same time, the state opened a site at https://transgender.nj.gov/ to give a central point for transgender people to get information on the laws, processes, and resources in New Jersey they can access.
This is incredibly good news, and there’s the possibility of crossing the river again. So we will see…
And now, a bit of music that may be a little relevant.
After a bunch of time and waiting, I finally got my medications in order properly again. Which is nice. I also added in one more.
A couple of days ago I mentioned that my wife and I played hooky this past weekend on Friday, but then on Saturday we did some more things, one of which I would never have expected to do if you’d asked me about it a couple of years ago.
Later today I’m going to be heading with my wife and my parents to a German festival. There will be food and a traditional German band. I’m going to try to get some photos – not sure if the phone or the Good Camera yet – but I’ll let people know what’s up when I get in (or, if it’s the phone, on the way — welcome to the magical world of the Future, where I take a photo of a bratwurst with spaetzle and let everyone know about it ten minutes afterwards, along with a review of the food).
Did I ever mention I like German food? Well, some of it. I don’t do much with mushrooms, don’t really go for Limburger cheese, and never quite got the taste of currywurst, but man, a good bratwurst or weisswurst and I’m a happy, happy man.
A number of years ago, I tried chicken tikka masala at a restaurant outside Philadelphia. I was repulsed, horrified, and in general turned off from Indian cuisine. It tasted like it had been soaked in a combination of peanut butter and sriracha, and I could not finish it. Since then I’ve been a disliker of Indian cuisine. When I would go to a place in Seattle I know people like, Saffron Grill, I’d get a gyro instead. (And let’s not talk about the Scottish-Indian restaurant. Please.)
Fast forward to this past winter, when my beloved Emma suggested Indian, and I demurred based in my past experience. And she presented to me the idea that I should try it again. (She was right. I really should have.) She picked, and got me lamb saag. “Spinach and lamb, two things you love!” she said. I began eating, a bit dubiously.
I finished it. Devoured it.
Then at the food court at Westlake Center, I had it a couple times at the stand there.
And this weekend, after messing up my knee, neither of us were up for much cooking. We looked at a few places on 2go Services and I said something that kind of stunned her:
“How about this Indian place?” We’d been talking about trying a place again, but this time I actually suggested it. And it was good. (The restaurant is Indian Curry Palace in Tukwila.) I tried Tandoori Chicken, and loved it. The lamb saag was excellent. And the paneer pakora was amazing (they put spices in the middle, which is apparently a big unusual, but I liked it).
I kind of wonder what else is going to change in my tastes soon… But this is an interesting change.
(This has been edited. Initially I said that Emma could “talk me into anything”. She doesn’t – she presents ideas to me. And quite honestly, she’s been right every time.)
For this six month celebration, Emma and I went to La Isla in Ballard for dinner. She’s wanted to go there since hearing about it and we had tried before, but it did’t work out. It almost didn’t this time – her job got a little crazy at the last minute – but we made it there, to try the food. And this is what we had…
It’s been six months since I married Emma.
In those six months, she’s moved across the country with me. We’ve had ups and downs. We’ve hurt each other’s feelings and made each other stunningly happy. We’ve both found work, and while it’s not the best work, it’s work, and we’re at least keeping our heads above water.
And to be honest, it’s really been amazing. I’ve learned so much. I feel that I’ve grown a lot.
And every day, I fall a little more in love with Emma. Something different every day that I find out about her. It’s been an incredible process, a time that I don’t want to ever end. We’re building something wonderful here, her and I, and I want it to keep going, keep being built, keep being created, forever.
It’s wonderful. I’m the most genuinely… not happy, because I am, but that’s not the word for it. No, the word for it is…
Content. What we have is something that fills me, makes my soul feel completed.
I’m married, and I think it’s the best damn thing ever.
I love you, Emma.
Humans are creatures of habit and of ritual. (Which I suppose are similar things, just the second is habit imbued with a greater meaning.). And when those are disrupted, you can feel kind of out of sorts for a while. That’s me today.
